The One Perspective That Completely Changed Me As A Leader

Consider this: sometimes advice is helpful…

and sometimes it’s actually harmful.

I remember writing this down in all caps during a lecture in the Berkeley Executive Coaching Program. As a senior leader, I was used to giving advice and offering solutions, so this idea short-circuited my brain at first.

What they offered instead was a single, powerful shift in perspective:

When we give advice, we do it through the lens of our own experiences. But we haven’t lived the full story of the person sitting across from us. We don’t truly know their dreams, their history, their fears, or the path of least resistance that might serve them best. So even the most well-intentioned advice can unintentionally lead them away from what’s actually right for them.

I struggled with this in the early days of training as a coach. The director would often stop me mid-session and say, “Heather! Stop giving advice!” The habit was deeply ingrained. But once I experienced the power of a different approach, I realized how much potential I’d been unintentionally limiting.

I started noticing it everywhere—in myself and in other leaders. The default was an unconscious assumption: that it was our job to weigh in on any question asked. But what if we flipped that? What if we believed they already hold the best insight—and our role is simply to help draw it out and bring it to life?

The energy between those two paths is radically different.

Since then, I’ve worked with over 300 people, and time after time, I’m in awe of what emerges when someone is given the space to think for themselves and the agency to follow their own wisdom. It’s liberating—for them and for me.

This doesn’t mean we stop sharing expertise altogether. But when we balance directing and advising with true coaching, our teams become more empowered, more creative, and far more capable of finding aligned solutions.

I’m proud to be 1 of about 900 graduates from the Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute—not just for the credentials, but for the transformation. I was shaped by a team of heart-centered leaders who believed deeply in the potential of others.

And I’ve learned that I don’t always need to have the answer—because it’s far more powerful to help someone discover the answer that’s already within them. 

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Next up: What Van-Life Taught Me About Leadership.

Hope to see you there.

Heather, Founder of A Project Called Life