How Reclaiming My Identity Changed Me as a Leader
You lead better when you know who you are.
I recently learned a term: enmeshment—when the boundaries between you and something (or someone) become so blurred, you lose sight of your own identity.
It happens in relationships.
It can also happen at work.
While helping build Marine Layer from startup to national brand, I poured my entire self into the mission—and somewhere along the way, I forgot who I was beyond those four walls.
I lived across from the office.
Went to happy hours with coworkers.
Talked about work with my nonwork friends.
Posted on my personal IG like the brand voice was my own.
My identity as a VP, a culture keeper, and a leader had crept into every corner of my life.
Perhaps for another person, this wouldn’t have had unhealthy consequences. But for me–well, I’ve come to realize that I didn’t actually know who I was without the title, the network or the daily distractions that pulled me back in beyond what I had signed up for.
My personal boundaries were nonexistent, and without realizing it, I’d built my whole identity around a job.
It wasn’t until I stepped away that I started asking deeper questions:
Who am I without the caffeine, the urgency, the constant emails?
What do I think about when my thoughts are my own?
What makes me feel alive, present, creative, and whole?
It turns out…
I love slow mornings. I meditate in bed so I can stay cozy longer. I quit coffee and booze, and hydrate like a boss. I’m a great writer. I love to dance. Mother Nature is one of my best friends. I listen to my intuition, because it’s always right. I sleep well and I finally feel in sync with my body, mind, and spirit.
For the first time, I know *and love* who I am—without external validation.
And I’ve learned that knowing myself—fully, unapologetically—is the most powerful leadership practice of all.
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Thank you for joining me here. If you resonate and would like to connect, please reach out to heather@aprojectcalledlife.com.